Every once in a while a current phenomenon pops into my consciousness and starts to take over much more of my brain power than it should.  I mean, I only have so much of this grey matter that I have control over…so when I start thinking about origins of the word “snap” and if I, as a thirty-something woman (well, more like a girl) could get away with using it in  my everyday language…well, that is just a waste of time.

This happens much more than you think it would.  It sounds sort of niche, right?  If you’d read my about page (ahem, *clears throat*) you’d know that I work with teenagers, girls more specifically.  This means I’m privy to all kinds of useful as well as useless fads and slang.  Most notably, the term beast (or beastly).  Did you know that means awesome, only something more awesome than awesome?  It’s usage is reserved for the very coolest of cool things, such as Amelia making a B on her final…that was beastly.  I promised to only use the term once and I’m pretty sure it would get caught in my throat if I actually tried to say it out loud.

I mention all of the above to introduce the current thing that is taking up way too much time in my head.  So much, in fact, that I had to pull out my camera and test it for myself.  I don’t know the correct term for this new way of posing for cameras, so I will just call it the smoosh mouth pose.  The pic above and to the left is my lame attempt at said pose.  I just can’t get the eyes right.  I’m ashamed to say that I’ve deleted at least a dozen pics of myself testing the look.  I’m supposed to have an “I dare you to come hither” look on my face, squinty eyes to go along with the smooshy mouth.

I guess I’ll stick with a smile. Sis gave me an idea…send me your best attempt at a smoosh mouth pic with a comment if’n ya can.

During the school year I liked to write during the day.  This is understandable considering the fact that I was the only person at home.  If I didn’t feel like stopping to make lunch, I didn’t have to.  There were hours and hours, six and a half of them, in fact, that I had free and clear to do with what I pleased…for the most part.  Now it’s the beginning 0f the sixth week of summer vacation and those free hours are long gone.  I don’t even try to write during the day anymore.  I haven’t yet mastered the art of working on a project in five minute stints.  Cause that’s about the amount of time I would get before it’s snack time or lunch time or break-up-the-same-fight-that’s-been-had-every-day-for-the-last-month time.

So my production has slowed quite a bit since my natural inclination after the kids have stopped popping up for water and lullabys–is to fall stoopid on the couch and veg out to one mindless show or another (my current faves are King of the Hill and Malcolm in the Middle).  That’s why it’s taken me a coupla weeks to write a short story…which has now stretched past my first limit of 5,000 words.  Lately I’ve been wondering if it might turn into one of those cute little novella things.

I was having trouble finding an ending for a little while.  I finally got it, typed it up in short hand at he end of what I’ve already written and now I’m just waiting to finish it properly.  Normally I wouldn’t even worry about finding the ending before it just came to me.  It was the whole word limit thing that forced that one.

That’s another thing I’ve been thinking about lately.  If anyone ever asks me for an outline I’d be in trouble.  My stories aren’t planned, they just happen…kinda like the rest of my life.  I seriously don’t know what I’m going to write about until I sit down with pencil and spiral, or keyboard and monitor and start writing.  I’ve tried thinking a story out first and nothing happens.  You’d think this method would cause a lot of re-writes, but it hasn’t yet so I’m thinking about sticking with it, especially since I don’t have any other choice.  If anyone out there has that same quirk drop me a line, it would be nice to know that I’m not alone.  Or, just let me know what your odd writing quirk is…

1.  With categories like Agent Blogs, Publishing Resources, and Fun for Writers, Writer’s Digest’s 101 Best Websites for Writers is a cornucopia of interesting and useful information.  Check it out here:  http://writersdigest.com/article/101-websites-2009?p_PageAlias=101BestSites

2.  http://queryshark.blogspot.com/…sometimes bordering on mean, always hilarious this blog takes apart actual query letters, revealing their weaknesses.  The coolest part is that a participant (chum, my term) can send a revised query letter and have it torn apart all over again.  Oh, and when the query finally becomes acceptable, it gets posted with praise.  By the way, the chum is a willing victim, having to send in their query letter for mauling.

3.  Hooray to Kelsey Timmerman for conjuring a long, and obviously well thought out (not to mention fast) response from the powers that be at the Indianapolis Zoo.

4.  I luv my new dishwasher.

5.  Writing a short story is taking wayyyyy longer than I thought it would.  How the heck do I end this thing?

6.  Does anyone else have a Dear Abby addiction?

7.  I was thinking about country music earlier this week.  I listened the genre for awhile during  one of my “phases” as a teenager.  I kinda miss George Strait and Randy Travis, and even (I can’t believe I’m admitting this) Garth Brooks…’The Dance’ and ‘The Thunder Rolls’ people!  May have to investigate…

8.  I’m thinking about purchasing a Slurpee machine…okay, not really…but man alive, they are goood.

9.  Man alive!  There are men alive in here!

10.  So I read Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen a few days ago.  It was my first Dessen novel, good read, I think I like her.

11.  How did all those turtles get on the runway anyway?

12.  Learning about how to get more traffic to my blog is really boring, like high school economics boring.

13.  Can’t help it, I have to mention the House of Grey podcast again.

14.  It is 103 degrees at 1:30 pm in Fort Worth, Texas…that’s outside, not in my oven.

15.  Whew! Made it again!

I’ve been wondering about this:

http://www.johnsonliterary.com/blog/2009/7/9/following-up-with-an-agent.html

I suppose this means that I can’t bug them after only two weeks.  I’m just kidding of course, that would be the fastest way to get a no-thank-you.

bye bye broken dishwasher

waiting for the new dishwasher

When our dishwasher broke down many moons ago I was actually a little excited about the challenge of washing dishes by hand while we saved for a new one.  Deep back in the recesses of my mind I thought of the process as a romantic link to the past…a way for me to connect with housewives of old.  I don’t quite feel the same way about the dirty, sweaty chore anymore.  Let’s just say that I was born in the modern age of appliances for a reason.

When I first learned how to wash dishes by hand I was a young teenager.  I wasn’t worried about making sure I got the dishes perfectly clean back then.  I just wanted to get it over with so I could go read.  Plus, I always had at least one sibling helping me clean.  These days I do most of the work myself.  First I prepare the dishes, rinsing off what the kids didn’t quite get off of the plates/cups/utensils.  After that I disinfect both sides of the sink and clean out the utensil cup on the drying rack.  THEN I actually start cleaning the dishes–with water almost hot enough to melt my skin and bubbly soap that my daughter begs to play with.  Needless to say, this has been an event each day.

I am waiting for my new machine to be delivered right now!  In the long tradition of delivery service, I have been given a four hour window during which my brand new dishwasher will arrive, and I am in that window now.

Goodbye peeling fingers and sweating in my air conditioned home!  So long piles of dishes that wait until I can fit them into the soapy water!  Farewell aching back (until I fold laundry) and sopping wet counters and floor!  Au revoir all you different kinds of scrubbies…the one for cups, for metal pans and the one for everything else!  I shall not miss you…not one tiny little bit!

poor 18-wheeler

I have no idea how the Hot Wheels truck bit it.  I just know that it happened in my house.  These things are made of metal…to withstand children’s play.  The last time I scrubbed Max’s room it was still intact.  Really, maybe I should be glad that it lasted as long as it did in this environment.  And when I turn it over, I actually feel a sense of pride.  It’s stamped with the date of 1979, and since 29 is the last brithday I will ever celebrate, I was born that year (in November)!  Hey, where the heck fire did I get a Hot Wheel from 1979?  I don’t remember hubby bringing a whole lot of toys into the marriage, well, okay, maybe that’s all he brought besides his clothes…but I don’t remember any small metal cars.  It is a mystery, and I honestly don’t care enough to solve it.  I just feel a tiny twinge of awe at the kind of damage my kiddos can do.  It did not go quietly into that good night…that’s for sure.  RIP Blue Hot Wheels truck from Malaysia in 1979.

I have a confession.  I know it’s dangerous, but I have a habit of walking and daydreaming at the same time.  Daydreaming is an incredibly important part of a writer’s day–okay, my day.  Which leads me to wonder if when I shop and daydream could I write off whatever is bought?  For example, I could think of a story about someone croaking from a soda pop overdose while I’m buying said soda pop.  Food for thought, anyway (get it?  food…har har).

Unfortunately I would never be able to claim anything that I bought in Wal-Mart.  For me, it seems to be a black hole of creativity. –quick side note: whoever decided to put the bread at the back of the store is not on my ‘people I like’ list.  It is stressful trying to get through the whole store without crushing my bread!–  Anyway, I don’t think I’m the only one with this problem considering the faces of the people I see.  Mostly they look like they might lose a little drool at any moment.  Sometimes you get the sweet grandma with a sweet smile, or the super-nice foreign lady who askes (using modified sign language–quite creative) where the straws are.  But for the most part, there are not a lot of people you would want to strike up a conversation with.

1.  Writing short stories is fun.

2.  I found a new site, http://www.querytracker.net/index.php that is REALLY cool and helpful.

3.  Getting traffic to my blog is a lot of work for little results (so far)…does anyone have any suggestions?

4.  I wonder why mattresses go on such deep discount for the Fourth of July…freedom=sleep?

5.  One week down from when I sent my full manuscript out to an agent…just seven more to go!

6.  Sometimes doctors are just as clueless as the rest of us and sometimes schools make the right decisions.  This is shockingly different from what I’ve believed for many years.

7.  One of our cats, Cally, likes to leave “presents” on our front porch things like bunny ears, a mouse tail or birds legs…he always eats the best part and I guess he thinks he’s being generous by giving us the leftovers.  Not that long ago I burst out laughing when I saw that he left us part of a hot dog.  I really hope he didn’t have the nerve to hunt it during the actual cook out, but I wouldn’t put it past him.

8.  It’s very nice to have the Bird home from camp, but it isn’t so great doing the laundry he brought with him.

9.  I was going to put a pic of my dog on here, to prove that my dog is uglier.  That’s why we got her.  We went to the pound about 5 years ago in search of the most unadoptable dog in the place and chose our dear Lola.  When I looked at the pic though, I realized that she’s very photogenic.

10.  “Make it or Break it” is better than “Secret Life of the American Teenager” but not nearly as trashy…yet.

11.  I can’t help it, I thoroughly enjoyed “Princess Protection Program”.

12.  I have one minute to come up with 3 more things!!!

13.  Stuffed Salmon Bel Mar from Target it AMAZING…try some!

14. I wonder when I will watch a show or movie for adults…I just love the kid stuff so much…shout out to iCarly!

15.  This is number 15.

Are synapses firing correctly in the thing that sits between these pink earbuds?

Have you ever been at the mercy of someone who doesn’t have a plan?  Who maybe rambles on uselessly and seemingly endlessly?  It could be a green boss who doesn’t have an agenda in place before holding a meeting, or a PTA president who doesn’t fully understand the procedures of running a vote…someone who’s enthusiasm outweighs their preparation.  These two specific examples are not from my life…just so ya know.

The reason I’m thinking about a map with point A and point B, but no roads drawn between is because I’m afraid that I might be committing that little faux pas myself.  In my pursuit to become published, is my enthusiasm more developed than my plan?  If it is, is it a big deal?  I know I shouldn’t waste anyone’s time, but I think it might ruin the experience if I researched or studied too much (what is too much anyway?) before I jumped in.  Plus, for me there’s the fact that I’ve always been a person who learns by doing…and with that, by making mistakes.  Not the most efficient way to learn, it’s true, but the lessons I learn I tend never to forget.  And it’s not like I’m not studying as I go.

So here’s my detour–I’m trying a little short story writing hoping against all hope that what I produce will end up in a literary magazine and I will finally have a credit to my name.  I’ve read that being published just about anywhere will make it infinitesimally easier to catch an agent’s eye.  So I’m taking a tiny break from querying to write…which is really, really nice.

Here’s a random pic of Joey with a horse.  Enjoy…while I rant.

Please tell me I’m not the only person with this problem.  There is so much to do and I can’t seem to start on any of it.  My three day migraine bender was finally over when I woke up this morning…oh happy day!  So the haze has cleared to reveal….dun dum da da dum…chaos.  Grumpy, cooped up kids, piles of dishes and a generally trashed house has tempered the relief I felt at waking up without pain in every movement.

Why am I writing about it instead of taking care of business?  I’m slightly overwhelmed.  If I start on the laundry it will use the hot water that I need for the dishes.  Can’t start the dishes until I have some clean counter space….and it goes on and on like that.  When I get to the end of the list which takes quite a bit of effort in itself, I will start with that.  But for now I am doing a list item that doesn’t require figuring what came first, the chicken or the egg.  And when I’m done I can check off one thing I’ve accomplished.  That is, I would if I ever actually made a to do list.

All this has to be done and I’m so far from what I really want to be doing, working on book two.  Oh how I long for the days of hours of uninterrupted writing (also known as school days).

Oh, by the way, if there is ever a blog post you hate, or even mildly dislike, you can bet it was typed on a migraine day.  I’m like Jekyl and Hyde I tell ya…

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest (as if you had a choice).

I don’t remember when I first heard about the Twilight series.  I just know that it was after the last book, Breaking Dawn came out.  I kept hearing tidbits here and there, all of my friends had read them.  I had to ask my friend Ess about it when I finally realized that this might be a series I would enjoy.  All in all, I think it was better that way…no endless waiting for the next book to come out…the whole series was just waiting to be read.  And read it I did.  I went back to the bookstore 3 times in one week to get my next fix.

So I was really excited when I found out that the movie was still in the theater once I finished.  I dragged my husband along.  We were lucky, I found out later, many had to endure teeny-bopping screams each time Edward showed up on the screen.  My experience was much quieter than that.  I know this is blasphemy to many, but the first thing I thought when I saw Edward was, “is that the best they could do?”  Rob Pattinson has grown on me since, but I was fairly disappointed at first.

I was a little stunned as I left the theater.  Some of the stunts had been so goofy I had  to stifle a laugh more than once.  It just didn’t look or feel right.  Bella was okay, but I still can’t get over her incredibly weird “thank you” in the hospital corridor.  I lamented to my husband who had been so nice that he didn’t tell me what he really thought until I made it clear that I thoroughly did not enjoy the flick.

This is not the reason I’m writing this so many months later.  That would be because of the strange attraction I have to the thing.  My husband asked me, when I came home with the deluxe 3 disk edition DVD, why, if I disliked the movie so did I buy it?  I could not put the reason into words.  I watched all of the extras before I started up the actual movie and they were really good.  Then I watched the film and wondered to myself, why did I buy the thing?  It’s not because I have enough money to buy every movie that comes out.  After that showing, I thought I was done with it.  I was wrong.  The urge came a couple of weeks later when I was having trouble sleeping.  Twilight cured my insomnia that night…and a couple more after that.  It’s dark, and quiet, a nice thing to go to sleep to.  Last week I woke up just in time for the prom scene in the gazebo at the end.  I thought I’d found the reason then.  It was beautiful, tragic and magical.  I checked the same scene out a coupla days later when I was wide awake.  It didn’t have the same effect.  So here I sit, months after I bought the thing, I’ve seen it more than I’ve seen any movie (except The Sound of Music, don’t ask) and I still have no idea why I like it or keep going back to it.

So will I watch New Moon when it comes out?  Like I told my husband right after we saw Twilight in the theater, “I can’t wait to see it, it has to be better than that.”