1. In case you didn’t already know it, I LOVE alliteration. In fact, I would be okay with this as my epitaph:

Jennifer Leigh Weadon Parker * November 18,1975 – November 18, 2075

Mommy, Grandmommy, Great-grandmommy and Astonishing Advocate of Abominable use of Alliteration

I know it’s a lot of letters and that will probably cost a lot of moolah, but for goodness’ sake I lived a hundred years and died on my birthday, aren’t I worth it?

2. kids…. ahh… just kids.

3. Writing sarcasm is easier than it sounds. (See what I mean, you couldn’t tell I was being sarcastic could you?)

4. Finished Devil’s Kiss by Sarwat Chadda last night. I really liked it! You should read it. I wrote Devil’s Kill first and took a minute to notice the mistake. Hmmm…

5. Mexican food rocks. Not sure I would feel right eating tamales on Christmas though.

6. My son read a book I recommended! SCORE!

7. Me likey Chucky.

8. Totally, completely, utterly frustrated with Joomla! (I did not add the !)

9. My ultimate Christmas wish: A maid once a week for a year. Must do windows.

10. Who came up with FIFTEEN? That’s way too many random ideas to come up with in one sitting.

11. Yeah, yeah, I know I did.

12. It was because I was afraid that five just wouldn’t be enough. I guess fourteen didn’t seem round enough.

13. Which is weird because fourteen is an even number and fifteen is not.

14. I’ve always thought that even=round. But now that I think about it, that’s not necessarily the case.

15. Rambling OUT. (Like Seacrest out…wow, that’s old. Oh well.)

the view from my desk

Not a fan of the slate gray day and other grumps…

I swear I did nothing to en-grayify this photo. I cut out the grass out of this pic of my backyard because of it’s pitiful condition.

Next…

my coat closet

Is this how your mother taught you to hang up your coat? Apparently it’s how I taught my 13 year old to hang his. At first I found the coat on the floor of the closet. Called him on it, and he complained that there weren’t any coat hangers (even though I keep an AMPLE supply in the linen closet in a convenient coat hanger basket). So I handed the child a coat hanger…and above is a picture of the state of my closet a couple of hours later. I wonder what he did with the hanger I gave him?

I’ve been in a book slump for a bit now. After I finished The Splendor Falls (a great book–READ Rosemary Clement-Moore. Now. Thanks.) I’ve been reading The Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld which I was really super dooper excited to start. I read the whole trilogy and I know this will sound nuts to a lot of people, but it really left me wanting. Something was missing here…only I can’t seem to articulate what that might be. I suppose I couldn’t relate to Tally Youngblood (the protag) who was pretty much a completely different person in each book due to the different surgeries that alter the mind as well as the body. And I really disliked the manifesto at the ending…it seemed to come from an unauthentic place. *SPOILER* I know Tally was always concerned about the environment, but she never really tried to educate herself beyond remembering what she was taught growing up at school…but she was also taught in school that all “random” people (those who are pre-surgery) are ugly. Brainwashing. So she’s okay with some brainwashing or mind altering, but not all?

This in no way means I am anti-environment. Just saying.

Please chime in if you have differing views on this (or backup would be nice too). I’m always happy to talk books.

where did you go?

short answer – I took an undeserved break from the computer.

longer answer – the store, Wylie, the library, church (finally!), building a blanket for my forthcoming niece or nephew,  immaculatizing my daughter’s landmine field of a room;

Books! where I visited rural Alabama (The Splendor Falls), Utah and California (The Actor and the Housewife), Australia (Jellicoe Road), turn of the century England (The Sweet Far Thing), turn of the century New York (Splendor) and a fictitious city called Emond’s Field (Eye of the World). I know I’m forgetting something, but I think that’s okay.

PJ was feeling jealous

Maybe photos do steal your soul…if you’re a cat. Wait, do cats have souls?

The self-interview is a rare occurrence.  If thought through fully, one would hardly see the benefit of asking one’s self questions and then answering them…oneself.  Half the stuff I get done wouldn’t if I thought things through fully, (and I don’t get all that much done, kids) so, anyway…what was my point?  Oh yes, instead of waiting to become published and then, of course, famous for my ah-mahzing skillz, or instead of waiting to receive a “25 random things about me” note on Facebook–I’m going ahead and giving myself the third degree.  Just so you know, I’m no pushover interviewer.  Tough questions will be asked, we’ll just have to wait and see if they are answered.  I skipped all the hellos and how-de-doos and included only the meat of the interview:

Q:  I see that you’ve been posting on your blog a lot less lately.  Is there a reason for this?

A:  Not a good one.

Q:  Right.  K.  Your public has noticed that you can’t seem to keep your blog on one subject or another…one day it’s about your kids, the next about some writerly thing.  Why is this?

A:  My kids aren’t loony enough to write about every day and I don’t actually know much writer stuff so I just write what I know, ya know?

Q:  How many freakin’ pets do you have anyway?

A:  Wow, that was really out of the blue… ah, wasn’t expecting that one.  Let’s see.  2 dogs (Sam and Lola–and no they were not named after Denise Richard’s children.  That’s just a happy coincidence),  3 cats (Cally, Lil Kat and P.J.), and 2 turtles (Squirty and Toothbrush).  That makes 7 in all.

Q:  Why the heck would you name a pet Toothbrush?

A:  I’m sorry, that’s just a little too personal.

Q:  Moving on then.  Why do you use so very very many ellipses, parentheses, and em dashes?

A:  Why not I always say!  Plus it’s how I talk…gotta get that rhythm right.

Q:  What do you hope to accomplish with this self-interview?

A:  To kill some time.  Ha ha, honestly I’m bored.

Q:  That is so interesting.  Have you ever thought about renting a personality?

A:  It’s way cheaper than buying, that’s for sure.  And then you can try as many out as you want without committing.

Q:  That was an insult.

A:  That wasn’t a question.

Q:  Okay, this interview is over.  I don’t think we’re going to actually find anything out about this person.

A:  That wasn’t a question either.

Okay, it’s late.  Here goes anyway:

1.  @benwhiting twitters all kinds of useful writerly information.  all day.  Oh! and he’s a fellow Fort Worthian.

2.  Hubby is officially on vacation!!! YAY!

3.  3 weeks down, 5 to go…

4.  Got stuck on this mom’s blog today.  She is hilarious!

Mr. Threepwood

5.  Guybrush Threepwood is the best character name ever.

6.  I’ve written approximately two sentences on my current project this week.  That is not a good thing.  ugh.

7.  Found another cool site just today.  Rachelle Gardner is a lit. agent.  Her site was listed on the Writer’s Digest 101 Best Websites for Writers.  I’ve not even scratched the surface yet.

8.  Urgh, cannot find my copy of To Kill a Mockingbird!  I have looked everywhere…it’s driving me batty.

9.  I have had approximately eight cats in my lifetime.  Only one has ever come when she is/was called.  She is the best kitty ever and her name is P.J.

10.  Watched J.K. Rowling: A Year in the Life last night and was riveted.

11.  I haven’t seen The Half Blood Prince yet, maybe tomorrow.

12.  A week without a new House of Grey episode is a sad week indeed.

13.  Grad student Blair Hurley has a super info blog.  She posts a really interesting pic weekly to get the creative juices flowing.

14.  I’m as excited about Wizards on Deck with Hannah Montana as my kids are.  wow. that’s sad.

15.  I don’t know why I’m surprised when I look under my daughter’s bed and see that it is stuffed to the wall with toys, books, clothes, etc. I did the same thing as a kid, but it’s shocking to me that my perfect little angel would do something so devious as shove everything under her bed in order to get her room “clean” faster.

1.  With categories like Agent Blogs, Publishing Resources, and Fun for Writers, Writer’s Digest’s 101 Best Websites for Writers is a cornucopia of interesting and useful information.  Check it out here:  http://writersdigest.com/article/101-websites-2009?p_PageAlias=101BestSites

2.  http://queryshark.blogspot.com/…sometimes bordering on mean, always hilarious this blog takes apart actual query letters, revealing their weaknesses.  The coolest part is that a participant (chum, my term) can send a revised query letter and have it torn apart all over again.  Oh, and when the query finally becomes acceptable, it gets posted with praise.  By the way, the chum is a willing victim, having to send in their query letter for mauling.

3.  Hooray to Kelsey Timmerman for conjuring a long, and obviously well thought out (not to mention fast) response from the powers that be at the Indianapolis Zoo.

4.  I luv my new dishwasher.

5.  Writing a short story is taking wayyyyy longer than I thought it would.  How the heck do I end this thing?

6.  Does anyone else have a Dear Abby addiction?

7.  I was thinking about country music earlier this week.  I listened the genre for awhile during  one of my “phases” as a teenager.  I kinda miss George Strait and Randy Travis, and even (I can’t believe I’m admitting this) Garth Brooks…’The Dance’ and ‘The Thunder Rolls’ people!  May have to investigate…

8.  I’m thinking about purchasing a Slurpee machine…okay, not really…but man alive, they are goood.

9.  Man alive!  There are men alive in here!

10.  So I read Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen a few days ago.  It was my first Dessen novel, good read, I think I like her.

11.  How did all those turtles get on the runway anyway?

12.  Learning about how to get more traffic to my blog is really boring, like high school economics boring.

13.  Can’t help it, I have to mention the House of Grey podcast again.

14.  It is 103 degrees at 1:30 pm in Fort Worth, Texas…that’s outside, not in my oven.

15.  Whew! Made it again!

bye bye broken dishwasher

waiting for the new dishwasher

When our dishwasher broke down many moons ago I was actually a little excited about the challenge of washing dishes by hand while we saved for a new one.  Deep back in the recesses of my mind I thought of the process as a romantic link to the past…a way for me to connect with housewives of old.  I don’t quite feel the same way about the dirty, sweaty chore anymore.  Let’s just say that I was born in the modern age of appliances for a reason.

When I first learned how to wash dishes by hand I was a young teenager.  I wasn’t worried about making sure I got the dishes perfectly clean back then.  I just wanted to get it over with so I could go read.  Plus, I always had at least one sibling helping me clean.  These days I do most of the work myself.  First I prepare the dishes, rinsing off what the kids didn’t quite get off of the plates/cups/utensils.  After that I disinfect both sides of the sink and clean out the utensil cup on the drying rack.  THEN I actually start cleaning the dishes–with water almost hot enough to melt my skin and bubbly soap that my daughter begs to play with.  Needless to say, this has been an event each day.

I am waiting for my new machine to be delivered right now!  In the long tradition of delivery service, I have been given a four hour window during which my brand new dishwasher will arrive, and I am in that window now.

Goodbye peeling fingers and sweating in my air conditioned home!  So long piles of dishes that wait until I can fit them into the soapy water!  Farewell aching back (until I fold laundry) and sopping wet counters and floor!  Au revoir all you different kinds of scrubbies…the one for cups, for metal pans and the one for everything else!  I shall not miss you…not one tiny little bit!

poor 18-wheeler

I have no idea how the Hot Wheels truck bit it.  I just know that it happened in my house.  These things are made of metal…to withstand children’s play.  The last time I scrubbed Max’s room it was still intact.  Really, maybe I should be glad that it lasted as long as it did in this environment.  And when I turn it over, I actually feel a sense of pride.  It’s stamped with the date of 1979, and since 29 is the last brithday I will ever celebrate, I was born that year (in November)!  Hey, where the heck fire did I get a Hot Wheel from 1979?  I don’t remember hubby bringing a whole lot of toys into the marriage, well, okay, maybe that’s all he brought besides his clothes…but I don’t remember any small metal cars.  It is a mystery, and I honestly don’t care enough to solve it.  I just feel a tiny twinge of awe at the kind of damage my kiddos can do.  It did not go quietly into that good night…that’s for sure.  RIP Blue Hot Wheels truck from Malaysia in 1979.

I have a confession.  I know it’s dangerous, but I have a habit of walking and daydreaming at the same time.  Daydreaming is an incredibly important part of a writer’s day–okay, my day.  Which leads me to wonder if when I shop and daydream could I write off whatever is bought?  For example, I could think of a story about someone croaking from a soda pop overdose while I’m buying said soda pop.  Food for thought, anyway (get it?  food…har har).

Unfortunately I would never be able to claim anything that I bought in Wal-Mart.  For me, it seems to be a black hole of creativity. –quick side note: whoever decided to put the bread at the back of the store is not on my ‘people I like’ list.  It is stressful trying to get through the whole store without crushing my bread!–  Anyway, I don’t think I’m the only one with this problem considering the faces of the people I see.  Mostly they look like they might lose a little drool at any moment.  Sometimes you get the sweet grandma with a sweet smile, or the super-nice foreign lady who askes (using modified sign language–quite creative) where the straws are.  But for the most part, there are not a lot of people you would want to strike up a conversation with.

1.  Writing short stories is fun.

2.  I found a new site, http://www.querytracker.net/index.php that is REALLY cool and helpful.

3.  Getting traffic to my blog is a lot of work for little results (so far)…does anyone have any suggestions?

4.  I wonder why mattresses go on such deep discount for the Fourth of July…freedom=sleep?

5.  One week down from when I sent my full manuscript out to an agent…just seven more to go!

6.  Sometimes doctors are just as clueless as the rest of us and sometimes schools make the right decisions.  This is shockingly different from what I’ve believed for many years.

7.  One of our cats, Cally, likes to leave “presents” on our front porch things like bunny ears, a mouse tail or birds legs…he always eats the best part and I guess he thinks he’s being generous by giving us the leftovers.  Not that long ago I burst out laughing when I saw that he left us part of a hot dog.  I really hope he didn’t have the nerve to hunt it during the actual cook out, but I wouldn’t put it past him.

8.  It’s very nice to have the Bird home from camp, but it isn’t so great doing the laundry he brought with him.

9.  I was going to put a pic of my dog on here, to prove that my dog is uglier.  That’s why we got her.  We went to the pound about 5 years ago in search of the most unadoptable dog in the place and chose our dear Lola.  When I looked at the pic though, I realized that she’s very photogenic.

10.  “Make it or Break it” is better than “Secret Life of the American Teenager” but not nearly as trashy…yet.

11.  I can’t help it, I thoroughly enjoyed “Princess Protection Program”.

12.  I have one minute to come up with 3 more things!!!

13.  Stuffed Salmon Bel Mar from Target it AMAZING…try some!

14. I wonder when I will watch a show or movie for adults…I just love the kid stuff so much…shout out to iCarly!

15.  This is number 15.

Here’s a random pic of Joey with a horse.  Enjoy…while I rant.

Please tell me I’m not the only person with this problem.  There is so much to do and I can’t seem to start on any of it.  My three day migraine bender was finally over when I woke up this morning…oh happy day!  So the haze has cleared to reveal….dun dum da da dum…chaos.  Grumpy, cooped up kids, piles of dishes and a generally trashed house has tempered the relief I felt at waking up without pain in every movement.

Why am I writing about it instead of taking care of business?  I’m slightly overwhelmed.  If I start on the laundry it will use the hot water that I need for the dishes.  Can’t start the dishes until I have some clean counter space….and it goes on and on like that.  When I get to the end of the list which takes quite a bit of effort in itself, I will start with that.  But for now I am doing a list item that doesn’t require figuring what came first, the chicken or the egg.  And when I’m done I can check off one thing I’ve accomplished.  That is, I would if I ever actually made a to do list.

All this has to be done and I’m so far from what I really want to be doing, working on book two.  Oh how I long for the days of hours of uninterrupted writing (also known as school days).

Oh, by the way, if there is ever a blog post you hate, or even mildly dislike, you can bet it was typed on a migraine day.  I’m like Jekyl and Hyde I tell ya…

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest (as if you had a choice).