1. For fiction, a good idea is gold.  So make sure you start querying any and every literary agent you can get your cursor over, even the ones that only work with non-fiction books…heck, go for it and query other types of agents too…you never know.  Whatever you do, don’t actually have anything written yet; you’ll just have to rewrite it all later anyway.
2. Proper punctuation and spelling are for English teachers.  Those squiggly lines under your words on the computer?  They’re for decoration.
3. Can’t type?  No prob.  Pencil written manuscripts are perfectly fine to send in.  That coffee stain?  Don’t worry about it.  You are an artiste; you have grander things to think about than neatness.
4. Do not follow the query writing / submission guidelines.  Your way is MUCH better.
5. Rejection letters are a personal assault on your sensibilities.  Any agent who turns you down is a drooling dope and everyone deserves to know it.  Call, email, blog, and twitter about the injustice that has been done to you and the unsavory traits of the person who offended you.
6. As soon as you send a query, and especially if you’ve been asked to send a manuscript, call the agent DAILY to check up on the status.  When they start to get a little firm with you that just means you’ve got their attention!  When they threaten to call the police, only then is it time to stop calling.
7. If you have the good fortune to attend a writer’s conference, zoom in on your dream agent and never leave her side.  Share personal stories, the more intimate the better.  Make her think you’ve been best friends for ages.
8. Make sure you start a blog that thrashes the publishing industry completely.  Tweet your links to the nation and sit back while you single-handedly revolutionize every negative thing about it.  It may hurt now, but they will thank you later.  There might even be a statue in your future.
9. On your shiny blog, don’t forget to list out the crappy authors who somehow, by some crazy twist of fate, became published before you.  Make sure to tell the reasons why their writing sucks too.  Everyone can use some constructive criticism.

10.  When you finally have an agent (this should take 1-2 months-tops) DO NOT BUDGE on anything.  Take all you can get, but give as little back as you can.  Rewrites, schmewrites.  Oh, and don’t forget, these are big city folk, they only respond to rudeness.

11.  Do not ever try to help any other writer on their road to publication.  They are the competition, never forget that.  If you have the opportunity to sabotage them -do it.

I first saw Jackson Pearce last week in one of her hilarious youtube videos.  So I checked out her site and found that it was even more hilarious.  Her debut novel, As You Wish is scheduled for release this month, on August 25th but I got my hot little hands on a copy last Friday.

I found out from her site that she would be participating in a panel at TwiCon and then signing copies of her book before you can even get them in the store.  Then I found out, lo and behold, that the convention was taking place in Dallas, just one little town over from my own.  So in a weird stalkery kind of way I asked if I could visit her at TwiCon without paying the TwiCon prices.

The day of, she twittered: “In response to emails: if you’re in TX but aren’t coming to TwiCon, I can meet you in the lobby and get you a copy of ayw on the sly. @ me.”  So I promptly @ed her.

Fast-forward and I’m at the Sheraton downtown on my way to the Dallas Ballroom to meet Jackson.  I am not a real huge social person, so this was seriously out of character for me.  I had lots of scenarios going through my head, pictured myself asking questions and being altogether charming.  Then I got a little distracted.  Imagine seeing this guy from behind going up an escalator:

That’s right, the klingon at TwiCon.  And he was huge!  And all I could see of him was the long black hair and a draping dark “cloak” falling to just above the heels of his heavy black boots with metal accents.  Okay, I’d already seen tons of Alices and Rosalies (most wearing baseball uniforms) and there were all manner of interesting characters swarming the convention…but this guy really stuck out.  I finally got a good look at the front of him when I was off the escalator.  It made me smile, calmed my nerves a bit.

So I found Jackson, she was sitting watching a panel and I tapped her on the shoulder from behind.  Later I thought, boy, that was weird.  I really should have stood in front of her and introduced myself…  The first thing I noticed was her shoes.  They were really rocking.  The second thing I noticed was that she looks exactly like herself.

She motioned for me to come and sit next to her.  And she hugged me.  I was not expecting a hug, even though she is a southern woman and this often happens with them (us).  I could tell she was a bit nervous, but that’s to be expected, meeting a perfect stranger in a strange city right before your first book signing ever.  I asked her a bunch of questions about pre-sales, her book cover design, her cat.  She told me that I was getting her the very first sold copy of As You Wish.  It felt like an honor.    I took her pic (see above).  She was really sweet, a truly nice girl.  She signed her book for me, we got shushed by a lady behind us, and not long after that I left.

It was a fun little adventure all in all.  And I got the privilege of being this person : “Just sold the first copy of AS YOU WISH! Thanks @jl_parker! ”

It was a good, fun read.  Perfect for brightening what was a rainy Saturday afternoon.

Thanks Jackson!